Last Fire, Last Night Out

Too many pics to add here, but here are some links:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=2069581&id=1300364541
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=2069584&id=1300364541

We had our last big fire in the pit last night. Was kinda bittersweet, it was fun with friends, food wine, then some quiet time with Mrs. Carlson by the fire. That part was slightly difficult. No more will we have the quiet privacy of being able to do that. We are moving on, Northbound if you will. This closes the chapter on this grand adventure and opens a new one. I can only hope for many more. We are now in the final stages of packing, (and lacking ambition at that too) as we are picking up the rental truck tomorrow and so starts the task of loading and finishing packing up what is left. It will be difficult leaving the driveway for the last time. It was home. It no longer feels that way, and has not for a while now. There is a feeling of "we dont belong here anymore" while here. The best way to describe it is this: while out and about, I have plans and energy and ambition to get things done, the moment I walk through the door all of that is gone. I look around and wonder where to begin and then just dont begin...
We are meant to leave this place. I do not like the fact that it will not be sold, but in other ways, I love the way WE are leaving here. I could not ask for more (thank you Volante, I love you, always).

2 nights ago we had a great night out with friends too. We went to Tir Na Nog in Raleigh for a few drinks and some good live music. Got heckled by the band, had interesting bathroom conversations and new answers to old questions. Ok, so now you are wondering "What..?" I shall explain.
First, as I returned from outside after a slightly awkward conversation with a dear friend, Volatne was waiting inside up near the front by the band. I walked up to her, spun her around and attacked her with a great kiss! The band [My 3 Kilts, Scott, Robert and Shane] noticed. Scott - "Just walk right up and kiss her on the mouth eh?" Me - "but she's my wife!" Robert - "somebody throw some water on them!"
While outside later, was talking to a seriously over dressed guy about my kilt and this is how it went: Over Dressed Guy - "so what DO you wear under the kilt?" Me - (after a bit of a pause with a smile) "my wife's lipstick" Over Dressed Guy - [shock and awe].
Much later on I ran into Robert (from My 3 Kilts) in the mens room. There was much drunken talk of Kilts and boots while at the urinal which continued on after hand washing and back out to the bar (Robert, I WILL get back to all 3 of you about playing in Boston or Manchester NH). Ya it was awkward, but fun, I liked his kilt.

It was 3 of us, mostly for the night, my self, Volante and our good dear friend Natalie.

Good times were had by all.

Another link of pictures from Tir Na Nog
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=2069587&id=1300364541

A most excellent way to close things here and with that, I shall close this post.

Good Bye from NC, most likely my next entry will be from NH.

-Phoenix Fire

Adventures afoot!

Our lives are a constant, change is the constant. Through the ebb & flow of good times and bad there is change. There are also adventures, little ones and big ones. Wandering Gypsie and I have had several of both. Life changing events are adventures, some adventures are meant to come to an end, others, are to be an endless jorney with rogue waves and calm seas. The storm is blowing its self out and we are on our way to calm seas but a new adventure may just be beginning. The adventures we have had, have been getting married, this is one that is an endless journey, also, the birth of 3 children, Martina in 2002, Alexandar in 2004 and Kai in 2009. These also are endless journeys, each an adventure in its own rite. When we moved our little tribe south to NC, this was the beginning of a new adventure, which now is coming to an end. The end will officially be next wednesday as we leave our driveway, for the very last time. I can not promise to keep my cheeks dry at that time. It is not an adventure i choose to end, but with it comes new ones. These new adventures come at the beginning of the second leg of our travels together. Our marriage, has had its ebbs & flows of good and bad. It took the worst of the worst of times for us to reconnect and continue, together. Our marriage is not new, but it is now a bold new adventure for us both. There is much exploring, of our selves and each other to be done along the way [ http://pheenyxsfyre.blogspot.com/2010/08/with-me.html ]. There is still a long journey ahead of us to take the time and explore the depths of 'us' properly. Who know what we may find in ourselves along the way.

This brings me to out next bold adventure. We will be living for a time with her parents. Quarters will be cramped, tempers may flare, but as a base camp to start a new adventure, I can not think of a better place. With the tight quarters comes a rock solid support system of family. They are chaotic and scattered, but they have always been there, for all of us. Our next move, may be the most daring for us and possibly the most fun. We will both be working, and looking for work in a new place. An island home, to raise our tribe, is what we are looking at. I have always felt a connection to the sea, not in the typical idyllic beachfront sense, no, but in the small coastal villages of sea side living. I do not wish to divulge at this time where we are looking, but I will say this, to live on a coastal island, sea breeze swept days, weather tempered by the sea where the children can be free to wander without fear is a dream I have always had.

Plans, choices and decisions. Plans seem to be more fluid and ever changing, so much more so than choices and decisions. We live with the choices we make, decisions we make shape our lives. It is the plans however, that guide us to these choices and decisions.

Our plans are not set in blue-gray granite; it is just an idea to explore, logistics to look into and decisions to make. These choices and decisions will come with time and planning. Gods only know where we will land once the winds stop blowing. No matter where it may be, on our feet we shall land, standing together as only a family can.

Making It Work #5 - Final

I have been neglectful of this line of posts. Sadly neglectful. Here it is nearly a month after my last post on this. Much has happened since the last post. There was one very teary phone call, an email with so much love in it that it made me cry and changed my life. The one thing I can and will quote, that sums it all up is this: "its just not home without you." This mean so much to me. We have mostly worked everything out, we are back together, in love and on our way to a good marriage. We each have our own things to change and work on. Only time will tell what happens with that, but we are now together to help eachother work on them, a nudge here, a gentle reminder there. This came very sudedenly and was a shock to me, it took me by such a surprise that it took a day or 2 for me to fully comprehend it. Working together to "make it work" truly is the only way it will work. This is love, forgiving, taking GIANT leaps of faith for the other. I recognize this. I see the giant leap of faith she has made here, I respect that, cherish that, and have just one more reason to love her for. My Love is now here, in NC with me (across the table from me at this very moment) to spend the final days here at this house, this house that we made home, for 5 years. This was home, but now, home, really is anywhere that we are together. Home is where the love is. Our final days are only the final days in this structure, and we are moving on to a bold new adventure, in living, in love and in life. I can make no promises of what the future holds, but if we have come out on the better side of this, the future looks promising. It is with great, nearly tearful happiness that I end my "Making It Work" posts. We have made it work in one sense, and we are still making it work in another.
True love is unconditional.

P.S.
My Love, my Sunshine, please remember what brought us here, what brought us to separation, and work at never letting this happen again to us. My fragile heart can not handle that again, it is on the mend, with help from your gentle touch.

Respect Faith.

I do not ask why you wear a symbol of a means of execution, or practice symbolic cannibalism every sunday, so please do not ask why I wear the symbol of the unity of the 5 elements and have an altar in my back yard. I will respect your faith for as long as you respect mine.